If you work or have worked with me, don't take what's below personally. I'm not angry. Just having some fun."Flush it out" - What? Flush it out? Huh? Drop it in the toilet and pull the lever? OK.
"We need a catchy headline" - Are people really going around town repeating my best headlines? "Oh man, I saw this Verizon ad today and I can't get that damn headline outta my head! 'Cool deals on hot phones'! Dude, how do these ad wizards come up w/ this stuff. High-five!"
"The client wrote the headline" - Awesome.
"We need to hit all six of these communication points in the headline" - Great. Another headline that says, "Your hometown store where we know your name with low prices on the highest quality gear you need for the upcoming holiday season that we hope is a happy one for you and your family, as we always have for over 20 years!"
"We really need to knock it out of the park this time, OK?" - Oh, I can tell by your tone that this time I need to really try not to suck. Because usually I just hand you half-assed drivel that I wrote with one hand on the keyboard and the other on a quarter-pounder with cheese. This time I won't do that.
"Tweak it" - I can think of nothing but negative experiences having to do with the word "tweak."
"This is all great, but I don't understand what "adn" means? Explain that to me." - Ok, so in the 16 pages of copy I busted out this morning, I overlooked the misspelling of one simple word. And you're going to call it out to the rest of the crew like it's actually confusing you, just to point out how stupid I must be to make such a juvenile error. Fcuk you.
"We just need to massage the copy a little." - I tried really massaging copy once. All the oil made it smear and I got black stuff all over my hands. Thanks to the massage, no one ever got to find out about the new walking trails at the local retirement community. Are you all happy?!
"This is exactly what we needed...but we just received some new feedback." - Wait a minute? How did we get feedback when we haven't even fed them yet?!
There are more. Just can't think of 'em. But this will do for now. You got any?
I'm sure at some point I've said those words to you, so sorry! LOL
ReplyDeleteEammon: This is some funny stuff, thanks for the laugh. Make sure all your copywriting friends see this one. lol.
ReplyDeleteMiss you.
Jenny
I've never heard "flush it out", but people at my job say "flesh it out" all the time, which is kind of gross. I just hate the word "flesh".
ReplyDeleteIf your co-workers are telling you to "Flush it Out" tell them they are misusing the term. It is "FLESH out": to give dimension, substance, or reality to. So if you have an outline, it is "skeletal" - when you "flesh it out" you put the meat on its bones. Gross kind of, yes, but still a decent analogy when used correctly.
ReplyDeleteI hate "tweak" and "massage" too. Both just sound wrong.
I have said a good share of these. That makes me suck. Fortunately, you suck worse for writing this. Good luck in your future endeavors, snarky.
ReplyDelete;-)